So I finally reached my limit and broke...

Now that the weekend is almost over, I can finally move past my bad behavior and get onto the right track again.  I had a meltdown and decided to give myself a "cheat night" in order to get it out of my system and work towards an improved balance, and not be such a "negative Nelly". It started with meeting friends at a bar, then a cocktail.  Since I haven't drank in quite some time, my self-control and willpower floated right out the door. Moving on to a restaurant, I tried to choose the least harmful dinner and received curried collard greens which besides the curry were allowed and a butternut squash fritter, which was definitely not allowed (as it was battered and fried). We had pickles, crispy brussel sprouts (crunchy but seemed fairly acceptable) and then another cocktail. Any resistance I had left at that point was gone so I convinced myself to get an ice cream sandwich because if I was really going to cheat then tonight was the night to do it.
I  feel like a small weight has been lifted. I have been so hard on myself about my diet and pretty much everything else that this gives me a good opportunity to practice being kind to myself, to remember I'm only human and I make mistakes and it's OK.  I have learned this from my very talented counselor and more sessions than my insurance would pay for, but who's counting.  I understand I have a problem (for now, my sugar addiction) and it's not to be approached casually nor will it resolve itself without more effort than I originally imagined. I can grasp the severity of the addiction now, after the ecstasy I felt eating the cookies off the ice cream sandwich.
Now this is not meant to say it's OK for all of you to follow my bad behaviors and I do not want you to follow in my footsteps.  I will have to live with the consequences of my actions (my dad's favorite saying when I was a kid) and this blog ultimately is a record for me to track my experiences so it's important I'm honest, even when I'm not the best role-model.
So say what you want to say, I'm an adult. I can take criticism. Besides, now I feel like I can better manage the next 40 days while approaching the end with a better attitude.

Just some thoughts:
-does curry always include a spice from peppers? I've seen so many different curry blends, maybe there's one without the peppers. Because oops, I used it in my soup today and realized it tasted too good to be allowed.

-with the deluge of diets out there preaching superior theories over others, how does one figure out which style is right for them without trying every single one and wasting a lot of time.  I've researched everything related to digestive health and diseases and experimented with food combining, low GI, and the popular gluten-free, dairy free, soy free, nut free and more I'm sure I'm forgetting.  I am interested in learning more about the blood type diet but more for my own knowledge, not that I want to follow it right after this experience. Any experiences or thoughts you have about diets you've tried before getting to this Leaky Gut trial?

-I want to start tracking my restaurant meals so I can get a better idea of how often I eat out and how that changes what I eat. Not sure of the best way to track it. Maybe I'll start with a different color.


Food Journal Day 17 Thursday
Breakfast: protein shake with spinach, carrot juice, blueberries, raspberries, 8 drops stevia
Lunch: salad with shrimp, artichokes, balsamic vinaigrette, tea (restaurant)
Snack: fruit salad (apple, blueberries, strawberries), herbal tea
Dinner: roasted butternut squash, steamed broccoli

Food Journal Day 18 Friday
Breakfast: protein shake with spinach, carrot juice, cultured coconut milk, blueberries, stevia
Snack: blueberries, 2 coconut bites (similar to coconut cherry bites, see recipe later)
Lunch: salad with veggies, balsamic vinaigrette, herbal tea
Snack: 2 coconut bites

Pre dinner Cocktail

Dinner: pickles, curried collard greens, butternut squash fritter, crispy brussel sprouts, cocktail
Dessert: ginger cookie ice cream sandwich
Food Journal Day 19 Saturday
Breakfast: protein shake w/ spinach, carrot juice, cultured coconut milk, blueberries, strawberries, half banana, stevia
Lunch: leftover tuna salad, avocado, butternut squash, broccoli, fruit salad, kombucha
Snack: coconut bites, pumpkin seeds, cucumber water
Dinner:lobster meat, dipped in olive oil& lemon juice, steamed asparagus
Dessert: quarter cup coconut ice cream (GF, DF but not sugar free!)
Food Journal Day 20 Sunday
Breakfast: protein shake with normal stuff
Snack: peach in coconut milk
Lunch: homemade carrot soup with avocado and hemp seed, roasted sunchokes
Snack: quarter ounce of dark chocolate, olives, squash chips
Dinner: lemon pepper cod, vegetable "latkes"


Coconut bites: blended 1/2 cooked sweet potato, shredded unsweetened coconut, flax meal and coconut milk until desired consistency. Added drops of stevia to taste.  Baked at 350F for 20 min but still gooey in middle.  Just for fun I tried adding sunflower seed butter to a little of the batter and it tasted good.  Because it has sugar mixed into the seeds I am trying to avoid it during this program.

Carrot soup with avocado and hempseeds

Carrot soup: sauteed red onion and fresh ginger in olive oil, then added chopped carrots. After 10 minutes added vegetable broth, cooked for 10 more min. Pureed in blender, returned to pot, added S&P to taste. Boring so added curry powder (technically not allowed due to the hot pepper content) and small amount coconut milk to desired consistency. Served hot with diced avocado and hempseeds. 


Vegetable Latkes: I didn't know how to make these before this diet so I am going out on a limb here. I grated zucchini, yellow squash, carrot, red onion, chopped spinach, seasoned with Italian herbs and S&P, then mixed with flax meal and coconut milk mixture. I also added some of the leftover cauliflower mashed potatoes to try and bind ingredients together. I placed spoonfuls on a hot griddle, spread thin and cooked for close to 15 minutes, flipping over occasionally.  They don't hold a shape initially but by the end they resemble small pancakes. Good luck!